Dissension by Adrienne Monson

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by sffradmin in 3 Stars, Book Reviews

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Star Rating

I am going to start out by saying, you should read this book. The second half is worth it. But I gotta be honest. I am not sure how this book is getting three stars from me. At about chapter 8, I was ready to throw this book out. Confusing passive voice littered the first half of the book. The writing was a nightmare and not in a good vampire novel way. Then Chapter 8 arrived and it was basically a prologue dropped into the middle of the novel, telling a story we basically had figured out anyway. And chapter 7 included the first half of the prologue but seen as a story told by Leisha to Samantha. I gleamed about one paragraph of needed detail from that entire back story. At this point, the book was barely holding on to a single star.

But I need two things to like a book. First, it has to be good enough to keep me up at night and second I have to want to read the second book. At about chapter 12, I was certain the answer to both would be no. But then I read the second half, in one late night. I couldn’t put it down. I am pretty sure I will read book 2 when it comes out.

This leaves me to wonder if the first half was written a long time ago by a much younger Adrienne Monson, who finally grew up as a writer before finishing this story.

Book Details

Dissension is vampire novel published by Jolly Fish Press in February of 2013. It is clean enough to be young adult but has a story line targeted to both adults and young adults.

The novel’s premise

Samantha, a sixteen year old girl, moves in with her father after her mother dies. After a premonition, Samantha discovers her father works for the government in a facility that is torturing other people.

Samantha rescues Leisha from the government facility only to find out that Leisha is a vampire. And from that moment on, Samantha is pulled into the vampire world.

Editing

Quality: Below Average

The number one issue this novel had was passive voice and mostly in the first half. The editors should have highlighted these lines and Adrienne should have written much better sentences. For example, in one scene Leisha is shot in the shoulder and then this was the following line: “She hissed at the pain and was immediately up in the air.” So this sentence is starts out active, “hissed”, and but ends up passive with “was immediately up in the air.” Why is she in the air? Did the bullet knock her in the air? Or did she jump? After re-reading, I feel like the author meant she jumped. But at this point I was pulled out of the story.

Ambiguous sentences also riddled the first half of the novel. This is probably a symptom of the passive voice. For example, Leisha is in desperate need to escape and there is a line: “Leisha didn’t waste any time killing them.” This sentence is very ambiguous. I assumed it meant she wasn’t going to take the time to kill them because escaping was more important. I was wrong. That line meant that Leisha killed them quickly. There was another ambiguous sentence when she “took no time” to rush at two men.

I am pretty sure that “realer” isn’t a word and should be “more real” instead. No it didn’t appear to be used as slang.

There was a missing space and comma issues.

I could go on. I had 30+ issues highlighted, mostly passive voice or eBook errors and other editing issues. Almost all of them are in the first half of the book.

More than the author, Jolly Fish Press should really take responsibility for this editing mess. If they had would have sent the passive voice and ambiguous sentences back to the writer, her story might be closer to 4 stars.

Imagination and Uniqueness

OK, so this an area where Adrienne excelled. Her imagination was top notch. This is the only reason I kept reading the book after the issues in the first half.

The history was well envisioned. The government facility and Samantha’s rescue of Leisha was done in rather simple but believable way.

The world of the vampires felt dark and dirty and evil, just like it should. It is amazing that this book somehow stayed PG for me. OK, maybe there was enough violence to make it PG-13 but even the violence wasn’t described in detail, allowing our imaginations to do the work.

Characters

There are two main characters and mostly the point of view is theirs.

Leisha is a two thousand year old vampire. Samantha is a sixteen year old girl. Their lives become intertwined and we follow these two characters throughout the story.

When both the characters were together, the point of view was not always done clearly. Sometimes it was hard to know if we were reading Leisha or Samantha’s thoughts. The POV character was easy to figure out, but needing to stop and figure it out pulled me out of the story each time I needed to do so.

The main villain Ptah, is described as an extremely evil chaos demon which entered a human creating the first vampire. However, when we see him, he seems to not be so much evil as he seems quite and calm. He is desperate for Leisha to embrace her vampire nature and join him. I kept being told he was evil, but I never really saw do much evil. I think what Victor and Annette did in her premonition at the end was far more evil than anything we ever see Ptah do.

Supernatural Powers

In this book, Samantha sees visions of the future. The vampires are fast and heal rapidly. The immortals are strong and heal even more rapidly. Vampires also have other small gifts. Leisha can read minds. Nick can lure people to him. Annette can invade a mind.

I really think the immortals needed more explanation. Other than long life and healing, what do they have?

eBook Quality

Quality: Average

This book seemed to be formatted tightly. The margins are smaller the most eBooks and the space between sentences was smaller. This was both good and bad. The tightness gave me a slightly more book-like read. However, the margins had problems when coupled with italics. Certain letters, like F, were cut off on the right side.

The ellipsis were done incorrectly. They should have been done with non-breaking spaces.

These little things pulled me from the story.

About the Author

Adrienne Monson lives in American Fork, Utah. She is a wife and mother of two children.

Here is a quote from her Amazon author page:

I love Zumba, kickboxing, and weightlifting. I also love yummy foods, so I don’t look like a workout guru.

I met her at the Life the Universe & Everything writers conference. I probably wouldn’t have read her book otherwise. From our short meeting, I would say she is a good combination of serious and fun.

Acquisitions by Christine Haggerty

13 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by sffradmin in 4.5 Stars, Book Reviews

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Review, Utah

Star Rating

halfstar

I really liked Acquisitions, especially the world and the characters. It earned all 4-1/2 stars. I almost got bored reading the scene on the train, but then the book moved on just in time. Acquisitions kept me up a little bit, making me give up sleep to read it (but not all night). Haggerty didn’t hold back in her story. The characters and the world are believable, and yes, there are actually characters that die.

Book Details

Acquisitions by Christine Haggerty is a 380 page dystopian novel published by Fox Hollow Publications in December of 2013. This is book 1 of a series called The Plague Legacy.

The novel’s premise

An apocalyptic disease has brought the world to its knees. Cameron Landry becomes and acquisition, chosen to go to Salvation. Unfortunately, Devon, who looks normal but is a mutant who despises Cameron, is going too.

Editing

Quality: Average

I found a single editing issue: a missing space between two words. Other than that, the editing was perfect.

Imagination and Uniqueness

This world is well-imagined. I enjoyed the setting, which starts out somewhere in the remains of the western United States. The plague is very well-described through Cameron’s memories. He lost both his parents and his brother to the plague.

Characters

I really liked Cameron Landry (Cam) at the start of the book. He is a likeable character who sticks up to bullies such as Devon.

There is a hint of romance brewing between Cam and Devon’s Sister, Tara.

The mutants are done well but simply. Her imagination is so good yet so easy. The plague created the mutants, but other than a single mark, faster healing, and a little more strength, mutants are otherwise normal.

The adults are few and far between, but they are the leaders. They are pretty enigmatic, and there is plenty of mystery to the adults. Some have been to Salvation and there is an air of awe about those who have gone there and come back.

eBook Quality

Quality: Average

The eBook had a single issue with formatting in the first chapter. I actually worked with Fox Hollow Publishing to help them fix it, so hopefully, you won’t see that issue. Other than that, it was pretty good quality. It lacked a few extra features that come with high quality eBooks but overall, the eBook has nothing to distract you.

About the Author

Christine Nielson Haggerty grew up in rural Utah with three brothers, a sister, several chickens, a goat, and an outhouse. She always loved the escape of science fiction and fantasy and the art of writing, and her passion is to craft stories of strength and survival.

Christine taught high school language arts for several years, encouraging perfection of the language in her young adult students. Now she appreciates her background in classic literature and history as she draws on the past to write about the present and the future.

Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson

06 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by sffradmin in 3.5 Stars, Book Reviews

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Leading Edge, Review, Utah

Star Rating

star

I gave it 3-1/2 stars (rounded up to 4 on Amazon). I thought the book was good but when I was finished, nothing in the book left me hoping for book 2.

The world was very cool. David, the main character, was well-written. I liked Megan and Prof. I enjoyed the story line. I even enjoyed the plot (even though it’s David vs. Goliath theme was a repeat of the Mistborn theme).

Book Details

Steelheart by Brand Sanderson comes in at just under 400 pages and was published by Delacorte Press in September 2013 and distributed by Random House.

The novel’s premise

In a future world, Chicago is run by Steelheart, an Epic. (Epic equals ‘superhero’ minus the ‘hero.’) The world is in a post-apocalyptic turmoil. David’s father is killed by Steelheart in a bank. Steelheart supposedly cannot die, but David has seen Steelheart bleed. David will avenge his father.

Editing

Quality: High

I didn’t find any editing errors in this novel. Perhaps a content edit to suggest increasing the connection between David and Megan would have helped him pull off the ending and helped me get emotionally involved.

Imagination and Uniqueness

The imagination is phenomenal. This world just freaking cool. His imagination is really what made this novel fun for me. Usually, I love the characters, but this story is about the world. The settings. The imagined powers of the Epics. I almost want to go add another star to the rating just thinking about the awesome imagination in this book.

Characters

David is the main character. Megan is another primary character. Together, they are the heart of the book.

Unfortunately, I never got involved emotionally in this book. I think that is because the David/Megan romance was so slow developing. It seemed like Sanderson wanted there to be this strong connection between David and Megan so that the reader’s heart would wrench right along with David’s heart when the connection broke. But I think the romance was barely there and I just felt mildly disappointed when Megan died. This fell short for me.

In the end, David is still an expendable young man and nobody would care if he died. Sure, the team would be sad, but they would get over him quick.

The team of side characters (the characters not mentioned above) were a little vague for me and I never really got a visual for them or reached a point where I felt I knew each member of the team well.

It was definitely a David vs. Goliath story. I wonder if that is why he named the MC David?

Magic System

The magic system, or in this case the superpower system, seemed to take an easy road. I don’t remember the exact wording but a couple of times he made comments like: “Everything defies the laws of physics and can’t be explained.” To me that was taking an easy road. Don’t get me wrong. I loved the powers, but I wanted at least and attempt at scientific explanations.

eBook Quality

Quality: Average

Very few issues but there were a few. Some features that add quality were missing. The start of each chapter had one word in all caps. Which when that one word was simply something like I, it didn’t really stand out as a chapter beginning.

The ellipses were done wrong. No breaking space after them, made for some awkward spacing issues.

About the Author

Brandon Sanderson was born in December 1975 in Lincoln, Nebraska. He served a two year mission in Seoul, Korea for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. After which, he returned to BYU and changed his major from Biochemistry to Creative Writing. His pWith his amazing success as a writer, I am sure his parents have forgiven him by now.

While at BYU, Brandon volunteered for Leading Edge Magazine, and in his senior year, he was Editor and Chief. His time there helped hone his writing skills.

Read more about him on his web site at: http://brandonsanderson.com/about-brandon/

Fire Light by J. Abram Barneck

27 Monday Jan 2014

Posted by sffradmin in 5 Stars, Book Reviews

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Leading Edge, Review, Utah

Star Rating

This book gets five stars because it has great characters, real life, fun action, magic, and awesomely evil bad guys, all in a descent plot with plenty of twists.

Book Details

Fire Light is an young adult urban fantasy novel by J. Abram Barneck. It is 432 pages. Barneck is self-published, but he is a a self-published author that appears to have done a lot right.

The novel’s premise

Barneck’s story starts with his main character, Jacob Stevens, a 17 year old boy who finds out he is a druid and learns to cast some cool spells, like Fire Light and a Magic Missile.

Editing

Quality: High

This book is listed as being edited by Sarah Bylund. It also lists about a dozen proofreaders. Well, they all did a great job. I could not find a typo, or a missing word, or any of the other issues that are common for self-published works.

Imagination and Uniqueness

The imagination in Fire Light is stellar. The idea of young man casting fire light and a magic missile is thrilling.

This story has its own uniqueness. It is set in Salt Lake City and could possibly be the first urban fantasy that takes place there.

Characters

The characters are very well done. The main character, Jacob Stevens, is a high school geek turned football star (geek + jock = jeek) who turns out to be a druid. He also has an endearing relationship with his sister that really helps the reader see Jake as a real person.

The two main female characters, Kendra and Alexis, will polarize you as a reader. Kendra, just turning sixteen, is young and innocent. Alexis is eighteen and half-dhampir. She is the granddaughter of the Vampire King. There is definitely a love triangle between Jake, Kendra, and Alexis, but unlike other love triangles, this love triangle is permanent. What does permanent mean? Well, you’ll have to read to find out.

The nightwalker is vicious and evil and definitely unique. The Vampire King is eight hundred years old and completely void of any sense of morality.

Magic System

Magic in Fire Light is nothing more than a person’s ability to access and use the energy that is all around us. Druids have a connection to that magic that a person either has or doesn’t, like how some people can roll then tongues and others can’t.

There is a bit of science to the magic. It is energy and one of the magic systems rules is that it has to be scientifically plausible. A little bit of chemistry and elements and the ability to convert energy to matter and vise versa (ike E=MC²).

eBook Quality

Quality: High

His eBook is impeccably formatted. In fact, it is probably formatted better than many books published by the big publishers out there.

There were no flaws to his eBook. From the cover to the final About the author page, there was nothing that made this book look self-published. Of course, once you read “About the Author” below, you will understand why this is book is published with such high quality.

About the Author

J. Abram Barneck live in West Jordan, Utah with his wife and kids. He read the Hobbit in fifth grade and consumed fantasy books one after another thereafter. He started writing his own fantasy at age sixteen.

Barneck graduated from BYU with a degree in Creative Writing. While at BYU, he spent three years with Leading Edge, a science fiction and fantasy magazine, where he worked with great writers and editors, even becoming acquainted with great authors such as Brandon Sanderson and David Farland. In one creative writing course, taught by David Farland, J. Abram Barneck sat only a few rows away from another popular author, Stephenie Meyer, who he unfortunately never talked to. It seemed inevitable that Barneck would one day become an author.

However, Barneck is a Senior Software Engineer and is currently completing a Masters of Computer Science. He loves writing both code and fiction. His high tech skills explain why his eBook is such high quality.